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Be careful if it Snows,

It had been snowing at night so at ….

8.00 I made a snowman.

8.10 A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn’t make a snow woman.

8.15 So I made a snow woman.

8.17 My feminist neighbour complained about the snow woman’s voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.

8.20 The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snowmen instead.

8.22 The transgender person asked why I didn’t just make one snow person with detachable parts.

8.25 The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.

8.26 I am being called a racist because the snow couple are white.

8.31 The Muslim gent across the road demanded the snow women wear a burqa.

8.40 The police arrive saying someone has been offended.

8.42 The feminist neighbour complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needs to be removed because it depicts a woman in a domestic role.

8.43 The council equalities officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.

8.45 A news crew from the BBC shows up, I am asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow women? I reply “Snowballs” and I am called a sexist.

9.00 I am on the news as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophoic sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.

9.10 I am asked if I have any accomplices. My children are taken by social services.

9.29 Far left protesters offended by everything are marching down the street demanding for me to be beheaded.

Moral: There is no moral to this story. It’s just the world in which we live today and it’s going to get worse.